


the wind's hymn | paused

by songintheglaciers (awyr)



Series: death and I, we go hand in hand [1]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Adding Tags & Characters As I Update, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alec is a soft bab, Attempt at Humor, Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, Flame Harmonization (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Flame Lore (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Friends to Lovers, Gen, Guess who, It's successful so far, Italian Mafia, My phone fell on my face as I wrote that, Not Beta Read, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Puberty Sucks, Reincarnation, Sick Character, Swearing, Work In Progress, edited chapters labelled with "(e)"
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 16,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24099667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awyr/pseuds/songintheglaciers
Summary: "Smile, Al... smile and good things will follow."Alec cradles those words deep within his heart, always on the forefront of his mind. He's in a mad, crazy world now--one in which Death's familiar cold, grim fingers still ghost his neck.(T for Gokudera's cigarettes + the profanity in work and notes | cross-posted on Wattpad under @songintheglaciers)- approx. 1 chapter every FRIDAY[[paused until19th March]]- edited chapters are labelled(e)
Relationships: Original Character(s) & Arcobaleno, Original Character(s) & Original Character(s), Original Character(s) & Vongola Tenth Generation Guardians, Reborn & Original Character(s), Reborn & Sawada Tsunayoshi, Sawada Iemitsu/Sawada Nana, Sawada Tsunayoshi & Original Character(s), Sawada Tsunayoshi & Vongola Tenth Generation Guardians
Series: death and I, we go hand in hand [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2118975
Comments: 15
Kudos: 62





	1. one (e)

**Author's Note:**

> British slang/terms are said by Alec in English & comment any theories you have, I love reading them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last edited: Sun 10 Jan 2021

"Carnivore."

Air whistles by Alec's ear and he whips around on the balls of his heels, voice raw with indignance when he meets Kyoya's steel eyes, "Do you hear with your _nose_ , Kyo? I _reject_ your challenge." The heavy sunlight beating over their backs still smothers and stifles him, but slowly, he releases the briefest exhale.

"I'll bite you--"

"Not now," Alec persists resolutely, a lock of wavy, sandy blond tickling his cheek as he does so, "Not today."

"You are strong," the skylark replies with similar conviction, his sharp gaze cutting Alec when the blond shakes his head dismissively with a small, hollow laugh.

"I'll have to disappoint you," Alec's dry lips curl into a reluctant frown as he turns back around. His polished leather shoes clack against the stone pavement, loud and crisp like the volume of his lilting voice. "I'm battling some pesky demons right now."

Alec's heart thuds in his chest when he makes a turn, pausing to raise his head. Wind tangles his short hair before curling around his neck like a scarf as if it's trying to whisper in his ear.

**Down the road--right there--the Sun is there,** it hums.

Then he throws himself forward, darting faster than he thinks he's ever moved.

That sun. He misses that Sun. He'll never forget--

Alec blinks hard, skidding to a stop. He faintly realises he's intruded an argument but he's frozen and utterly breathless as his blood pounds in his chest and ears when a white-hot pain sears across his cheek, spreading to his face.

It stings. Like the sudden closing of his chest and windpipe when he registers the small frame of the Sun through the blur of wettening eyes.

"Don't even think about seeing Reborn-chan anymore--who are you?!"

"Y-You're," Alec chokes out, ignoring the girl as he lumbers towards the house fence with shaking hands. "You're here," he breathes out softly, almost dazedly as he carefully lifts the surprised Arcobaleno into his arms away from the fence. His next words are endearing but almost silent, like a scratchy whisper as he gently pulls Reborn next to his chest, cradling him.

" _Il mio raggio di sole_..." He murmurs, silver threads of _steady-formless-strong_ thrumming warmly under his sunburned skin. Alec cards his fingers under Reborn's fedora, through his hair. It bubbles in his core, sprouting and hissing faintly in his ears as they warm the hitman. "Who's the boy?" his jewel-like eyes briefly flit over as Leon flicks his tongue against his hand, "Your other _alunno_?"

"Sawada Tsunayoshi," Reborn confirms, looking past his fedora to deliver Tsuna a threatening stare.

Alec pauses, snuggling Reborn closer and turns to the restless brunet with a cheery smile, "Thank you for looking after Reborn. His hitman obsession can make him tough to handle." He laughs lightly, eyes softening, "Claimed one of my old books before running off."

"You're Reborn-chan's older brother?" Haru steps in front of him, sceptically narrowing her big eyes at his uniform. "And you haven't notified the authorities if he went missing?"

Alec frowns, liquid sapphire eyes darkening as he pulls his lips back into a hostile scowl, "Whatever you're planning... _kidnapping_ ," he glances down at Reborn.

"It wouldn't work," Reborn affirms, climbing onto Alec's shoulder who jams his hands into his front pockets, thumbs sticking out. "It's my job to raise Tsuna, the 10th boss of the mafia. I cannot be separated from Tsuna till then--"

"You may see Reborn another time, with an apology, preferably. We'll be late otherwise. Bye." Alec strides over to Tsuna and plops Reborn on his shoulder, swiftly moving past Haru before she considers trying to land another hit on him.

"W-wait!" Tsuna cries, careening towards him.

The blond's shoulders snap rigid. His feet stop as his jaw tenses, gaze flicking between Haru and Tsuna until she's out of sight.

"U-uh, thank you for helping me, and Reborn, but--" Tsuna fumbles over his words, stopping next to him with his chest billowing for every breath.

"Alec," he interrupts, shifting his gaze to Reborn.

"What?"

"Alec Mercier, Al to my friends and new transfer of 1-A," he continues, turning away and speedwalks, leaving the duo to themselves.

He knows better than to get involved again. Even if his heart desperately tears his chest apart to.

* * *

Smiling's become easier. Coupled with some smart jokes and bubbly laughs here and there, it helps him slip around the torrent of questions from his peers, but more importantly, fish information.

Wind curls around his torso, pulsing warmly as he skims over his work for the third time, distracted by his current conclusion.

He fucked up by choosing to come to Kyoya's town. Yamamoto Tsuyoshi's son and Smoking Bomb Hayato were with the son of the Young Lion of the Vongola. Knowing recent news, Poison Scorpion and Lambo Bovino definitely followed Reborn here too. 

He's exactly a softie like Julien pointed out.

"--cier-san? Mercier-san?" A glaringly familiar voice startles Alec, blinking up to a slim and spiky-haired brunet fraught with nervousness.

"Sorry, was miles away there, Sawada-san," he smiles sheepishly before it falls at his empty desk and the empty classroom. "...As you can obviously tell," Alec laughs bleakly.

"Are you okay?" Tsuna questions, obliviously insightful.

"I don't confuse you?" Alec raises an eyebrow, leaning forward with his arms crossed against the desk.

"Reborn said he didn't call you and you wouldn't hurt me."

"--'s right about that," the blond mutters under his breath, raking a few fingers through his hair and gets to his feet. "But I'm not sticking my nose into Vongola's mess. Amicable classmates are the best we can do."

"You a-aren't from the Mafia?" Tsuna blurts, his big, amber eyes widening slightly.

"Don't know how you got that but yes, I'm not," Alec acknowledges as he sidesteps next to Tsuna, "I know Sunshine from somewhere else."

He really is a big fucking softie. Wow, who was he kidding? Why else did he fuck off in some random unknown town in Japan if not to find Reborn? Besides ignoring his own problems, of course.

"Oh um, they thought you missed home," Tsuna answers, gaze darting around the classroom.

"Strange," Alec comments, looking over Tsuna's poor posture as the wind nudges him.

"So we're on cleaning duty today?" He looks up to meet the brunet's gaze, finger twitching.

"Y-yeah, but you don't have to--"

Alec holds Tsuna's chin gently and lifts it with his thumb and index finger before holding his shoulders, "Chin up a _bit_ , and--" he gently pushes them back, "--shoulders back. Stop hunching. It makes you look short and submissive."

"Uh, okay--" Tsuna stammers.

"When you walk, remember to stand tall," Alec pats his shoulders before meeting his gaze with his own steady one. "Arms at your sides, and from now on, from here to your friends, you'll practice walking."

"Huh?"

"Long brisk steps at a medium pace," he elaborates, "only until you _see_ them." Alec smiles brightly, hoping Tsuna would chalk it up to cultural differences. "Also," he adds with a small frown, sweeping his gaze across the classroom. "I apologise for touching you like that. Don't let anyone you're uncomfortable with touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable."

"Now come on, Gokudera-san and Yamamoto-san are waiting for you."

"R-right!" Tsuna looks nearby, hurrying towards the brooms and Alec follows him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to kudo & comment - thoughts + theories especially!


	2. two (e)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited: Thu 7 Jan 2021

Alec cries out in pain, gaze snapping to Haru and hugs his abdomen protectively. "Why... the fuck did you _assault_ me for?!"

The brunette gawks at his language, driving the butt of the hockey stick against the floor of the bridge, making her armour clank.

"If Reborn-chan is a real hitman," Haru says adamantly, "I think you, who will be a real mafia boss, are very strong, Tsuna-san."

"I'm not Sawada, I'm Alec--"

"You're his big brother!" Haru stabs the hockey stick in his direction with a shout, "And you're a bad influence on him!"

"I'm not any of those things!" The blond retorts harshly as Wind ripples against his cheek like it's laughing, "He's like my nephew, lady. _Nephew_."

"If you're strong, I'll believe Reborn-chan--" she ignores him, putting on a motorcycle helmet, "--and won't complain about anything in his life."

"--cking 'ell," Alec whispers, gaze sweeping across Haru's form as she raises the hockey stick.

"Please have a match with me!" And swings it down.

"No!" He thunders, dodging with fluid grace, like his feet are scarcely touching the ground with each step, "I will not!"

The wind brushes against his shoulders, whipping around him when Alec snaps out his palm. A wave bursts through the air from his palm like parting water, ramming the hockey stick in Haru's hands into the air.

"Hahi!" She exclaims, looking up and barely catches it as it falls.

Alec jerks in the other direction, glancing over his shoulder to see Tsuna behind her.

"Sawada!" He hollers, still running, "Don't let Miura-san take Reborn from you! See you at school!"

"Hieee!!"

* * *

"He's throwing _dynamites_? And that many?" Alec groans from behind the fence, dragging his hands down his face as the small sound of rapid explosions enters his ears.

 **Help her?** The wind proposes, disheveling his hair.

"No," he mumbles, looking down at his rough hands, "This is his battle, and I don't want anything to with it. You know that."

**The Fire nor the girl can swim.**

"What's that gotta do with anything?" he sighs, raising his head to find Haru in the air.

"Oh--" Alec's eyes widen and curls his left hand into a fist, "--that should be enough." He breathes out in relief, crossing one of his arms as Haru's shout and the sound of something like a firework popping--probably Reborn shooting--echoes in his head.

**Don't you want to stay?**

"No, I'll live," he answers stiffly, turning around to resume his walk to Nami Middle. "Don't want Kyo to attack me again. Plus Smoking Bomb's possessive."

* * *

Tsuna notices a familiar mop of golden hair next to the bridge, grip loosening on the towel hanging around his neck.

"Reborn," he calls out the hitman, "isn't that Mercier-san? Why's he still here?"

Reborn follows Tsuna's gaze, poker-face not cracking. "Didn't I tell you?" he begins, "Alec won't hurt you."

Haru squeaks and sighs dreamily, "Is he French? He has such a dreamy name... It would be wonderful if he jumped instead..."

Tsuna chokes on his breath and the Arcobaleno only lowers his fedora as Gokudera retorts with a scowl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment - thoughts + theories especially!


	3. three (e)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited: Thu 7 Jan 2021

"Why is the Tomaso Famiglia's heir here too?" Alec whines, pulling Reborn closer to his chest as they look out from the school's rooftop. "You're lucky I love you enough to stay here, Sunshine."

"They're growing on you," Reborn observes, pushing down a smile.

"Yeah, yeah," the blond yields, huffing, "Wind's laughing too. I want to blame you."

"How's Lal and everyone else?" the hitman suddenly asks solemnly.

"They were doing good the last time I checked. Most were was a pain in the ass to track down like you," Alec grumbles, frowning. "It was hard to get enough contact with Lal to help stabilise her flames because I was almost caught by the blond oaf. Still succeeded."

"V's still rolling with the ' _genius scientist always stuck in rabbit holes'_ thing," he continues, licking his dry lips "Skull's a member of the Carcassa Famiglia now, Maggot Midget's got a job in an amusement park and Fon has an adorable disciple he's teaching now. Viper started calling themselves Mammon, raking in a ton of money like always while they working in an assassination squad. Chatted for a bit and they can illusion smells now too."

"Aria?"

Alec purses his lips, narrowing his eyes slightly as his muscles tense.

"You overextended yourself," Reborn says as Leon curls around himself on the rim of his fedora.

"I... want to do _more_ ," Alec whispers wearily, shoulders slouching. "More than two or three years for everyone."

"You look fourteen." Reborn snaps, "You looked like you just turned _thirty_ when I saw you just over a year ago!"

"There were some kids... I--" 

"You'll kill yourself!" he hisses at Alec's protest, their gazes meeting.

"I'll take a break," the blond pacifies, "Three years."

"Ten."

"Six."

" _Ten_. We won't take any less," the hitman leans closer solemnly, "and you know it."

"Fine." Alec purses his lips, perking up the next second, "You should've seen the look on the girl's face when I said you were like my nephew--"

"How long will you stay?" Reborn cuts him off sharply.

"Even for the ten years, Sunshine. With some vacations of course--"

"Good."

"Good?" Alec echoes, surprise furrowing his slightly arched eyebrows.

"You can live with Tsuna."

"Wait--" his face warps in disbelief, "--me? No--I am _not_ living with a child who I've known for not even a whole week, even if he is your student, and getting pulled into your shenanigans."

"For summer vacation," Reborn insists, gaze softening.

"Fire won't agree at all," he retorts, pausing to explain himself. "Fire is what wind calls him--"

"It's done then. You'll be his other tutor."

"What _other_ tutor?" Alec eyes Reborn, lifting him up so they're eye level. "I told him amicable classmates is the most we can be. I'm not co-tutoring, or even mentoring, the kid with you. I retired recently, okay. And Vongola won't like it when they find out."

"Who ever finds anything about Ghost?" Reborn remarks.

"Honestly, fuck you, dude."

"Thank you, Uncle Ghost."

"I thought you were an actual toddler when I said that," the blond groans, putting Reborn back down on his lap.

"We know, Uncle Ghost."

"Muah muah, Uncle Ghost loves you--gahk!" Alec cradles his chin with a pained hiss, eyes wet with unshed tears. "Again, fuck you."

"I love you too."

"Devil spawn," he feigns fear.

"I aim to please."

"As if."

"Coffee?" Reborn offers.

"Yeah, I'll buy," the blond stretches his arms with a yawn, perching Reborn on his right shoulder, "I found a great place yesterday. You'll love it."

* * *

"I know there's nothing on my face," Alec points out as they collect their coffee and seat themselves in a secluded corner.

"There isn't." Reborn acknowledges.

"Just taste the damn coffee, will you?" the blond huffs, "it's not like anything's going to happen while you're gone."

Reborn raises an eyebrow, slowly taking a sip of his venti standard espresso.

"Ah, ah, _ah_ , we are _not_ talking about this now." Alec leans backwards in his chair. "I've only taken some precautions after finding out Tomaso's Eighth-to-be is here as well. That's _all_."

"As Ghost?" the Arcobaleno asks as Alec inquisitively.

Alec narrows his eyes, savouring his iced cappuccino in silence.

"Tripped in your high heels again?" Reborn teases.

"No, we're not talking about that utter embarrassment either," Alec whispers fiercely. "And you _launched_ Skull at me. Some nephew."

"The lackey needed a beating," Reborn explains, placing his mug down. "Couldn't tell between you and your disguise."

"You couldn't either at first," Alec recalls, "thought I was actually gunning for you."

"Haru has a crush on you."

Alec splutters on his drink, slapping his chest and leans forward, eyes wide. "You're joking, right?"

"Called you dreamy."

"But the _kid_ saved her," he hisses, eyebrows furrowing. "I don't want to deal with this."

"Ask her," Reborn resumes sipping his espresso.

"I'm not asking her! You want to embarrass me again!" Alec frowns, crossing his arms.

"I would never."

"Uh-huh," Alec leans back, finishing his beverage. "...But since we're on this topic I visited Dino too, y'know," he adds after a pause, "looked around his age."

Reborn meets his gaze curiously.

"Kinda cute but needs more training," Alec winks conspiratorially.

"Did you give him any identification?"

"Dyed my hair a darker brown than my natural. Spoke with some north variant of a Spanish accent as Alejandro López. It was fucking _hilarious_ how flustered he was," he laughs. "One of the things that make me wish phones have cameras. I could've sent it to you."

Reborn cracks a smile, shaking his head.

The rest of the afternoon flies by, and by the end of it when they get back to Nami Middle, Alec thinks he really doesn't mind staying here.

* * *

"Mercier-kun is an assassin?!" Tsuna screeches at the reveal, holding onto tufts of his spiky brown hair.

"Retired assassin," the hitman corrects. "He'll be living with you during summer vacation."

"But he said he only wants to be classmates! He didn't tell me _and_ he wouldn't agree!" Tsuna argues, flopping back on his bed.

"He didn't."

"Then how--"

"I forced him. He's my uncle," Reborn cocks his gun, beady eyes glinting.

"You forced your uncle?!--HE'S WHAT?!" Tsuna shrieks. "You two look nothing alike!"

He shoots a rubber bullet past Tsuna. "Stop screaming No-Good Tsuna. It's unbefitting of a Mafia boss."

"I don't want to be a mafia b--" Tsuna freezes at the phone in Reborn's hand, "--are you talking to him right now?!"

The hitman's lips quirk into a smile, putting it on the loudspeaker. "Uncle?"

" _Why the fuck are you calling me at this ungodly hour, you chaotic shit?_ " Alec's muffled voice comes through the speaker, definitely displeased, " _I need my beauty sleep. I'm a growing boy if you didn't know Sunshine. Maybe you should try_."

"Did something happen?" Some surprise slips past his poker face.

" _I'm going hiking early in the morning tomorrow._ Alone _, at 5 AM, so don't fuck me over now that you know_."

"Tsuna wants to join."

"What?! No, I don't!" Tsuna reaches for the phone but stumbles back in pain after Reborn kicks his head.

" _Ha_ ha _, bring everyone else while you're at it, why don't you? ...That was sarcas--_ "

"Okay." Reborn cuts the call, and Tsuna yelps.

"He was being sarcastic! I don't want to go! It would be intruding!"

"Too late, No-Good Tsuna."

"No!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment - thoughts & theories especially!


	4. four (e)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited: Thu 7 Jan 2021

After Reborn's chaotic phone call, Alec wakes up at 4 AM to re-organise everything with him over the phone again.

"Alright, you're taking Fire's mother and Thunder to the bed and breakfast ahead of us with the luggage," he confirms, glancing at the digital alarm clock as he stands up from his bed, rubbing his eyes, "I've freed up the rest of the day for this mess."

"Meet you there."

"See you," the blond murmurs, throwing the flip phone on his bed before staring down at the extra backpacks he frantically prepared when Reborn interrupted his sleep the day before.

"I _haaate_ this," he groans to Wind as they play with his bed hair, frustration furrowing his brows.

* * *

"Is this everyone?" Alec glances at Haru, carefully stepping away from the daydreaming girl to the other side of the Vongola Decimo candidate.

"Yeah--"

"EXTREME!!" The white-haired boxer interrupts Tsuna with a vigorous roar.

"Shut up, lawn-head!" Gokudera barks.

"Will you _both_ control your hot-headedness" Alec implores as he strides up to the two. "I didn't drink three shots of espresso and give up my 'me day' to _babysit_ two hormonal teenage boys. We are here to _enjoy_ the journey up top, whether it be socially, physically or just appreciating the sights."

He sweeps his gaze past everyone, "I don't know much about you all and almost all of you don't know much about me, except Reborn and Tsuna. Just enjoy it and get to know each other. This is a day off for everyone to enjoy, no responsibilities. Understand?"

"Y-yes," Tsuna nervously looks over at Gokudera who grudgingly grunts. The girls nod and Yamamoto and Ryohei also confirm their understanding with a nod.

"Great!" Alec beams brightly, whipping around on the balls of his feet and motioning them to the dirt path in-between vast green in front of them.

Now all he has to do is to make sure the explosions expert, boxer and baseball star don't kill each other on the random, nameless mountain.

What a splendid day.

* * *

"Mercier-san?" Tsuna calls quietly after catching up to the blond.

"Yes?" Alec looks over his shoulder, distantly seeing Haru and Kyo gushing about some bakery while the other three talk about their own things.

"Are you actually Reborn's uncle?"

Alec raises his eyebrow. "Not biologically. Is that all?"

"N-no, it's just..." Tsuna slouches meekly as they step onto crisp leaves and twigs, "I don't want to be a mafia boss." 

"Y'know... I didn't want to be an assassin either," the blond starts softly. "I was repulsed by the idea but some people kept coming after my family. I hate being powerless even more." Alec's gaze softens and he smiles wistfully. "They didn't consider you a candidate, Tsuna. Think about it."

He observes the silent look of confusion on the teen's face, yielding. "I'm sure Reborn's told you how the other candidates died."

"Yes."

"What does it mean when the people they exhausted their resources nurturing died?"

"They have enemies," Tsuna answers carefully.

"Vongola has enemies and their current boss is a childless old man." Alec elaborates.

"They want to end Vongola by killing him."

"Now think about you. What is your identity? Who does Reborn say he is?"

Tsuna shrieks, hands shaking and heart thudding in his chest, "They'll come here to kill me--"

"You're safe here," Alec reassures softly. "Take a deep breath and tell me five things you see."

"Y-you, trees, uh," Tsuna inhales heavily, breathing out softly, "Gokudera-kun, Yamamoto, a-and clouds."

"Good," the blond praises, pulling out the brunet's water bottle from the side of his backpack as he tries to regulate his breathing. "You did good, Tsuna. Do you think you can continue calmly or need a break? Water?"

"I can continue!"

"Alright," Alec nods softly, pausing as Tsuna sips from his bottle. "If we know this, who, or what, else do you think knows?"

Tsuna furrows his brows, blinking. "...Vongola?"

"Right! And remember this, Tsuna: when you make a point or come to a conclusion, always think, "so what?", alright?"

"So... you're asking me so what if Vongola knows?"

"Yes," Alec breaks into a smile, pride bubbling light in his chest.

"If Vongola knows... and wants to survive..." he pauses in thought, "it would try its best to protect me and make me their boss."

"Yes, yes, _yes_!" Alec laughs, eyes crinkling. "Vongola's survival depends on you not only becoming Decimo but being a good Decimo that keeps them alive and strong. So what if they depend on you for surviving?"

"I have to be a mafia boss?" Tsuna's eyes widen in fear.

"No, _no_." the blond shakes his head, "You, Tsuna, can do _whatever_ you want when you prove yourself to them. You're the Vongola Decimo candidate being trained by Reborn! He's the World's Strongest Hitman. Vongola's invested in you, they won't back out if you show promise and results. This means you _have_ them, they either follow you or fall. And the key point here is 'follow'."

The brunet gawks at Alec's cheery words, gears turning in his head. "W-wait, but--"

Alec claps softly, "Reborn doesn't give a shit what you do as long as he's satisfied with your skills."

"I don't have to become a Mafia boss?" Tsuna whispers to himself.

"Yeah, but not all of them are bad," Alec adds, "take Cavallone's Decimo for example."

"Cavallone's Decimo?" The brunet echoes, trying it out on his tongue.

"Like you right now, their Decimo wanted absolutely _nothing_ to do with the mafia. He hated it--and he's still a klutz--but now he cares for his subordinates and civilians the most out of all other mafia bosses. He's so devoted, Reborn would agree he loses half of his ability when none of them around."

"Doesn't that mean he could get killed?" Tsuna blurts.

"And this is where his family comes in," Alec laughs lightly, "They're devoted to him on the same level too. The Cavollone Famiglia is a family, they protect each other."

"Family..." the brunet murmurs to himself, glancing over his shoulder, almost smiling.

"Now then," Alec clears his throat, "shouldn't we enjoy it with them too?"

"R-right!"

"Keep laughing, why don't you?" Alec murmurs under his breath as he follows Tsuna.

**I'd like to see if you'll care for the other child too.**

"You already know the damn answer," he whisper-hisses, mock-annoyed.

"Mercier-san!" Haru jumps towards him, enveloping him into a hug.

"Hi," Alec uncomfortably raises his head up to Tsuna who smiles at him wryly. "I missed you too, my dear friend," he resigns.

"Friend?!" Haru steps back, crying out in mortification.

Tsuna stares at them with disbelief.

 _Friend-zoned_ , the retired assassin mouths back at him with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment - thoughts & theories especially!


	5. five (e)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited: Thu 7 Jan 2021

It isn't all that bad, Alec mules as they all take in the rugged slope of the mountain range's hump in the chill and windy air. There are some occasional tweets plus the rush of a nearby waterfall with the almost ethereal view makes it more fulfilling.

 **You love it** , Wind chuckles, pulling a small smile from the blond.

"It's nice, isn't it?" he says to Tsuna, sitting down next to a mixed patch of stunning sunset orange and pinkish-red flowers, dropping his backpack in front of him.

"It's beautiful," responds Kyoko, breathlessly looking over the blanket of woodland they went through behind them.

"It's one of the reasons why I came here, to be honest," Alec pats the space next to him, stretching his legs. "Needed a break."

"You went across the world for a break?" Haru questions, placing herself left to him. Kyoko sits next to her, her brother after, and Tsuna sits to his right, followed by Gokudera and Yamamoto all in a circle.

"Nah. I lived in Tokyo for a year but it was too fast for me," Alec glances at the cloudy midday sky, raising an eyebrow. "How else would I speak unaccented Japanese this well?"

"I thought you came here for Reborn?" Tsuna leans closer, catching the sunlight glare in the blond's eyes.

A priceless expression. Tsuna laughs as Alec blocks out the sunlight with his hands.

"He sped up the process. Would've come after summer vacation otherwise," the blond quickly rummages through his bag, pulling out a pair of hiking glasses as he finishes his explaination. "You've all got one each too," he says, securing it around his ears. "We'll rest for ten or fifteen minutes before resuming. Didn't want to stop you before but you should also familiarise yourself with the other stuff I put in there. It'll be another half an hour or so before we meet Tsuna's mother, Reborn and Lambo."

"That's more than enough time," Haru beams happily, pulling Kyoko away with her camera clutched in her other hand.

"How are you three handling being together? Sasagawa-senpai?" Alec shifts his gaze at Tsuna's friends and potential Guardians.

 **You think of them as your friends too** , the Wind comments, parting his hair in ridiculous directions but their partner ignores it, waiting for an answer.

"EXTREMELY WELL!" The boxer whisper-yells, eyes shining.

"I'm tolerating it. They're not bad like this," Gokudera follows grudgingly, looking away. "And the Tenth is enjoying it too."

"We should go out like this more often," Yamamoto laughs, looking around him again.

"Yeah," Tsuna smiles happily, "we should."

"How often though?" Alec shuffles closer into a circle, "I try to go every week or two when but usually every three weeks when I'm not busy."

"Three weeks is fine, isn't it?" Tsuna turns to Yamamoto and Gokudera. "We can change it if we want to go more or our schedules change."

"That's fantastic, then," Alec's eyes brighten, "We can talk about it on the way to Sawada-san with the girls, and tell her after we eat lunch. You guys can see the surprise when we get there later."

"Surprise?" Kyoko's voice drifts over, and they all look around to see Haru snapping a photo of them.

"Come over so we can all be in it," Alec calls them over waving his arm in the air. "Has it got a timer? Five seconds?"

"Yeah," loudly answers Haru as she rushes over with Kyoko in tow, shouting again. "Smile!"

"Not now--" Haru bats Alec, scowling, "-- _ow_..."

"I was asking if we could do it with our backs to that," he murmurs, pointing his left to the line of trees and a mix-match of rocks and more flowers curving upwards on the sloping grass. "Bet it looks funny, though. Show?"

Tsuna looks over Haru's shoulder and Yamamoto over Alec's, the other two on both sides with varying reactions.

"Pfft--" Alec lets a small laugh slip past, slapping his mouth when Haru glares at him. "You can't deny it. It _is_ f-funny--" his shoulders shake as he bursts into uproarious laughter. "It's all chaotic and Gokudera looks like he stepped in shit!"

Tsuna snorts, barely holding it in.

"Haha," Alec rubs his eyes, looking away from the seething explosives expert, "It's a fun memory without a doubt, that's the important thing."

Then he hears a click and whips around, finger twitching.

**You forgot again.**

Damn right he did.

That camera better not have embarrassing pictures of _him_.

He needs to ask Kyoko later--

"Ack--" Alec splutters on his saliva, looking around in a startle with a pain aching in his back, "--who hit me?"

"Haru," Tsuna replies with a smile, "she said you embarrassed her."

"Bullshit, she's the terrifying one," the blonde gasps, "you need to help me delete any pictures of me she has on that camera. I swear I heard her--"

"Ow!" He cries out again, eyes growing wet, "You're so aggressive!"

"I am not!" Haru glares.

"You just _kicked_ me! Kick someone else!"

"I can kick whoever I want!"

"How long has it been?" Alec asks Gokudera, rubbing his right knee.

"4 minutes."

"Let's look around, and remember to hydrate yourselves."

* * *

"Tsu-kun!" Nana calls out with Lambo next her, waving her arm as the group of seven look at the bed and breakfast for the first time.

"Mother!" Tsuna calls out, hurrying to her. "Have you been here the whole time?"

"Yes, it's small but there's so much to do! I just got back from the _amazing_ spa! I almost can't believe I've never heard of this place before," she beams radiantly.

"A friend recommended it," Reborn speaks, suddenly landing in front of Tsuna.

"You jumped off, again?" Alec complains, exasperated. "You always sabotage my dramatic entrances."

"They need improvement," the hitman counters ruthlessly, lowering his fedora.

"Yeah, well I'm going to unload my stuff and eat. Have fun, _Suzy_." Alec walks off, hiding his growing smile under his jacket's collar.

"Suji?" Kyoko looks at Tsuna, puzzled.

"An inside joke?" He offers hesitantly with a shrug. "We should follow him, right?"

"C'mon!" Alec's head of blonde hair pops through the door. "Lunch is starting in twenty minutes at a place nearby. Our stuff's already in our rooms. Tsuna's mum gets her own with Lambo, the girls between themselves and we're sharing a big one between us."

"Still annoyed at you, Suzy," he adds, giving Reborn a sharp and childish glare before stepping back behind the doors.

"Why does Mercier-kun call you Suji?" Kyoko asks Reborn, tilting her head slightly.

"It's the name of his old teddy bear."

"Oi! You _git_! I heard that!" The blond opens the doors again, frowning. "Are you guys coming in or what? It's awkward waiting with the hosts watching me."

"R-right!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment - thoughts & theories especially!


	6. six (e)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited: Thu 7 Jan 2021

Being jump kicked by the hitman on his forehead while asleep wasn't a welcome surprise to Alec. Particularly the solemn gaze of his black eyes as soon as he cracked his open in a silent start.

"We need to talk," the hitman whispers tiredly, wiping the annoyed furrow of Alec's brows off his face in favour of a similar serious expression.

Pushing open a nearby window and climbing out on the ledge next to it with Reborn on his shoulder, Alec climbs higher with pursed lips in the heavy silence. Wind gently nudges the window close as he sits on the edge of the roof, legs hanging still.

Reborn lowers his fedora, covering his eyes, and they both bathe in the occasional twitters of birds and rustling leaves glowing under the dappling moonlight.

"Fire...'s..." Alec breathes out softly, blinking firmly as _steady-formless-strong_ silver bubbles in his core, bleeding under his skin, "flames are sealed."

"How are you handling it?" Reborn studies up the blatant guilt marring the blond's face, his blue eyes dark and cloudy like a storm.

"I already feel like shit half of the time." Alec begins after a deep exhale. "Now I find his flames weren't only sealed, but with a _botched_ one at that--" he folding his arms when the night chill rams a shudder down his spine, hugging himself, "--and what else? The mother's suffering from Iemitsu's prolonged absence. I almost _broke down_ right there when I registered the bullshit seal after I met you which is why I left after handing him to you. What am I supposed to do with this utter clusterfuck?"

"Almost," Reborn moves to sit down on his shoulder instead, his _warm-happy-lively_ yellow licking Alec's silver.

"Don't feed me your flames, Sunshine. You need them," Alec looks at him, blinking his glistening eyes when he feels it seep into his skin and melt. "You need them more than me."

"There's something else eating at you." The hitman overlooks the request, snuggling closer to the crook of the blond's neck who welcomes it.

Alec leans his head against Reborn's, swallowing the brick in his throat as his chest constricts tightly. "--was me," he mumbles, blue eyes drifting to the bright moon. "...It was me who got 'im... killed... Federico. I killed him."

"You're blaming yourself," Reborn turns his head to look at him, expression bordering disbelief and glee, "for getting well-justified revenge?"

"I shot Enrico and pushed Massimo to drown." Alec lowers his head in chest tightening guilt and shame, explaining quietly. "And then," he adds, voice heavy with revulsion, "I realised I killed three sons for their father's actions. I'm just like him... you know I've already lived a life directly carrying the consequences of others' actions."

"Not _any_ of that is your fault." Reborn soothes as the blond's silver quiver in an attempt to stop more of his _warm-happy-lively_ tether of yellow mixing.

"It feels like it is," Alec inhales sharply, heart thudding in his chest. He can feel his pulse pound near his collarbone and neck, hear it in his ears. "Especially with the mood swings and nightmares... But I'll--I'll keep trying."

"That's all that matters," Reborn jumps on the blond's lap, finally feeling his yellow pooling into the other's _steady-formless-strong_ silver.

"Thanks," Alec whispers softly, enveloping the Arcobaleno into a tight hug.

"As long as you're not annoyed at me for sabotaging your dramatic entrances."

"So you admit it," Alec rasps, eyes crinkling. "I was annoyed you said it in front of them. The puppy was dissecting me at lunch."

"You enjoyed the challenge."

" _You_ did," he counters pointedly as Wind tousles his hair.

"You just wanted to have some fun with Dino, didn't you?" Reborn's lips twitch into a smile, lifting his gaze.

"Why would you say that?"

"Why else would you use _Alejandro_?" Reborn observes his attempt to hold a straight face, amused.

"What's wrong with using a name similar to my own?" Alec lifts his eyebrow, lifting his chin slightly.

"The lack of imagination," The hitman comments, " _Alexandre_."

"Suzy," Alec hisses at Reborn's smirk.

"My point exactly."

* * *

_Did you successfully protect your family? [01:47 AM]_

_No. [01:48 AM]_

_My informant tricked me. [01:_ _49_ _AM]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment - thoughts & theories especially!


	7. seven (e)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy belated New Years. went to sleep before my family got the alcohol out so I cannot tell you how fucking hilarious it was to see the wasted dumbasses in the morning 😂

"Wha? Wha's going on?" Alec fumbles onto his side, folding his pillow over his exposed ear before forcing his heavy eyelids apart.

"Ciaossu," Reborn chirps as if his One Ton Mallet isn't hovering over his pillow above his ringing ear.

"Good morning to you too," the blond rolls away, kicking out his covers and staggers onto his weak feet, "Don't wake me up like tha--"

A quick burst of air entangles the rippled cover with Alec's legs--"Oi! N--" Reborn's eyes gleam when the blond's chin hits the floor with a dull thunk, replacing his objection with a stifled groan.

"You're both bullies," Alec grunts, carefully holding his chin as he rolls onto his back, sandy blond hair flopping on his face.

"Should dye my roots soon or would you rather I wait?" He lifts his head, picking apart Reborn's poker face.

"It would look nicer to leave it mixed," the hitman answers honestly after a moment of thought.

"Ahhh, it would actually. I think Mammon suggested it, must've slipped my mind."

"Do you want this in your face?" Reborn lifts the hammer in a threatening manner.

"Alright! I'll get up! Thanks!" Alec kicks the covers back on the futon and slips out room. "Fire should already be downstairs right?" he pauses, craning his head through the doorway. "And did you see the coffee I brought over? Venti standard--your favourite."

"Hurry up." Reborn's stare sharpens.

"'kay," the blonde darts away, shaking his head at how Leon transformed into spider on the brim of Reborn's hat.

He's got bad memories with spiders.

* * *

"I still don't understand how you failed," Tsuna whispers to Alec, glancing at the teacher behind the podium in front of the classroom. "I almost passed because of you."

"I didn't practice enough of the Japanese methods. Then I blanked and you can _see_ my confusion on the paper," Alec clarifies, leaning slightly towards the right in his chair. He sweeps his gaze over Yamamoto to the few pupils around them, tightening his grip on the sheet of questions placed on his desk less than a minute ago.

"This sheet is your homework for tomorrow," tells the teacher, staring pointedly at some pitiful soul Alec can't remember the name of at the moment, "if you don't get all of it correct, you'll fail."

"Now, we will end," she adds, giving them a once-over.

"Aw _shit_ ," Alec mumbles, slumping in his seat with a groan, "Gokudera's our only hope."

"That's right!" Tsuna exclaims, whipping his gaze to Yamamoto. "We'll finish it faster with Gokudera-kun!"

"Where do you want to do it, then?" Alec leans forward with his arms folded against his desk, subtly glancing away to smile at Reborn.

"Do it at home," the hitman pipes up, passing Alec a packaged ice lolly, holding his own in his hand.

"Hey! Why do you get to decide?" Tsuna demands indignantly, gripping the back of his seat.

"Because I'm your home tutor."

"Hey!--" Tsuna hisses, mortified at what the baseball player would think of the reveal.

"Haha! I see!" The black-haired teen laughs, holding Reborn in the air. "Tsuna, you have a good home tutor!"

"You think it's a joke again," Tsuna mutters under his own breath.

"Don't underestimate Sunshine," Alec gets up to pat the brunet's shoulder in a gesture of comfort and reassurance. "I couldn't choose a better place. The questions shouldn't be above 1st-year junior high level questions anyways so Gokudera's more than enough. That boy's mathematical skills are sky-high above his peers."

"Still at my house, then?" Tsuna asks in a small voice, watching all three of them.

"Why not?" Alec shrugs, handing over his mango ice lolly to Tsuna and notes to himself to buy snacks for the collaborative session later.

Ah, that's his favourite flavour. Why is he so nice sometimes?

**Because you're soft.**

"Lyse would never let it go if she heard that," he mutters under his breath quietly enough for only Reborn to hear, his lips curling into a giddy smile.

* * *

> _"Papa," Gwen calls out, blue eyes bright as she looking up from her one-eyed teddy when he enters the room after hanging his coat behind the door._
> 
> _"Yes,_ bijou? _" Alec moves towards her, crouching down with furrowed eyebrows._
> 
> _"Why do I have Elysia after Guinevere and before Mercier?"_
> 
> _"Because your mama wanted to always be with you," Alec lifts her into the air with his calloused hands, grunting as he gets to his feet with an appraising gaze. "My little_ bijou _has become less little. Papa can barely hold you anymore," he huffs, letting into a loud laugh._
> 
> _"No! You promised me you would make me fly!"_
> 
> _"And you know papa never breaks his promises," Alec breaks into a wide smile, his heart melting at her exhilarated squeal when Wind lifts her higher._

* * *

"But, I wasn't able to figure out what question 7 was," Yamamoto admits, sipping from his juice carton.

Gokudera snaps his head, laughing gleefully, "You're still stupid, Yamamoto!"

"It's the same for me too," Alec smiles wryly, staring down at the question. "But I do remembering seeing a similar question before--" Tsuna's face breaks into a smile, "--and it was in a _university-level_ book I saw lying around."

The brunet screeches, jaw falling and eyes blowing wide.

"I'm not joking around," Alec furrows his brows. "Only the numbers were different--"

"That's not good," Yamamoto says, concern making him frown, "If we can't solve all of it, we're gonna fail right?"

" _Don't_ hit the table, hurl our pillows on our beds. I forgot to fluff mine anyway." the blonde throws a pointed look at the silver-haired teen. "Read the question Gokudera-kun, and tell me if you think its something a class who failed a 1st-year junior high level maths take should be able to answer."

Grudgingly taking a breath, Gokudera reads the question, expression falling into confusion and realisation. "No... Even I don't get it."

The blond rolls his lips, "The previous tenant of my studio apartment left one of their textbooks. I didn't understand anything, still don't, but I'll leave and come back with it so we can see if Gokudera-kun can understand it."

"Sounds like a good plan," Yamamoto smiles in a relieved tone, his eyes still concerned.

"Don't worry," Alec shifts his gaze to the bristling explosives expert, then to the antsy teen with a serious expression settling on his face. "So, Sawada. I already have the contacts of everyone who's taking extra classes too."

"...Is this your "so what?" thing?" Tsuna utters back, uncertain and eyebrows slightly furrowing.

The blond nods.

"Okay... uh," the brunet glances around, thinking. "...You're... suggesting that... you message them. You can tell them something."

"Very right."

"You're considering telling them that question 7 isn't supposed to be a question because it's something we would only learn if we studied maths after junior high."

"Okay," Alec nods, glancing at the smiling Reborn, "what do you think is the important part of what you just told us?"

"Um..." Tsuna bites his lip, tilting his head. "Telling others?"

"So what if I told the others? What would that do to them?"

Yamamoto leans closer, watching Tsuna with a smile while Gokudera stays silent, pride fluttering in his chest like Alec.

"They... would think the teacher put it in accidentally or on purpose."

"Good. Narrow in on who put it in, doesn't matter if it was intentional," Alec adds helpfully, eyes crinkling.

**You still adore children.**

No shit, of course, he does. It's what being a dad does to you.

"The teacher...? I don't- I don't understand why that matters--" Tsuna's eyes widen, jaw slacking, "--because she _should know_! She should know that it's-it's uh, not 1st-year junior high level!"

Alec throws his hands up in the air, beaming. "Fire! That's it! Just a little more!"

"So... so if you tell the others this and-and about what we're doing... if we all tell the teacher, we can't fail because it's the _teacher's_ fault!"

Reborn lowers his fedora as Alec bursts into happy laughter at Tsuna's judgment.

"So," Alec turns to Gokudera and Yamamoto, grinning from ear to ear, "what do you guys think of this plan?"

"The Tenth is amazing, just like the Tenth!" Gokudera straightens his back with a proud smile.

"You're both amazing," Yamamoto adds on, his smile bright before turning to Alec. "We'll wait for you to come back. We have the rest of the day to figure this out, after all."

Springing onto his feet, Alec almost sprints out the house, calming himself and darts out the door as soon as he gets there.

"I feel so proud, like when Gwen had you pick her up after understanding a question she didn't understand for so long." He laughs breathily, running through the streets.

**She was our young _unity-empathetic-peace_.**

"Lyse would be... completely proud of her..." Alec smiles, lifting his gaze with exhilaration, "if she knew..."

And his blue eyes darken, like liquid sapphire hardening when he stops in front of his residence.

"And... I can't help but think about baby Xan," he confesses in a whisper, a lock of sandy blond hair falling on his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment - thoughts & theories especially _!_


	8. eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> turns out they're 1st-year junior high students so i corrected that. cheers to mistranslations! since i re-read the relevant manga chapters before & as i write as a frame, point out if there's any vague stuff because i realised I tend not to describe enough of those. still working on it :/
> 
> tweaked how long Reborn saw Alec last (1 year and a bit) because Reborn isn't *completely* two years old at the time of this chapter so their meeting as R as an arcobaleno wouldn't make sense as it is, let alone any more.
> 
> enjoy & please comment! they give me life x

Swiping a pack of peppermint gum from his stash into his pocket, Alec hurriedly locks the door and rushes to the staircase, straining his ears and eyes.

No footsteps, no voices, no people.

With a satisfied nod, the blond rolls the textbook and grips it tightly. He leaps into the air, curling into a ball before straightening himself and plummets through the floors.

Wind whips around him, exponentially increasing air resistance to cushion his landing.

Bending his knees as his feet for a few seconds as they connect on the ground, Alec bursts across the street when he spots a head of black hair staring at him.

Snapping into the opposite direction, he pauses, turning back around as Kyoya darts towards him.

"Only if you ensure our teacher for extra classes in maths doesn't fail us if we only get question 7 wrong because it's a university level question and we have proof to justify the unfairness!" Alec shoots, throwing his head back as Kyoya's tonfa strikes where it was.

"Done," the skylark accepts, unleashing a torrent of overwhelming and heavy strikes to the evasive blond.

"Thank youuuu!" Alec beams brightly, swiftly swinging his foot into the back of Kyoya's knees and harshly shoves his shoulders. Prancing over his body as Kyoya stumbles into the nearby wall, the blond lunges into a swift sprint through the wide streets back to Tsuna's house, his grey t-shirt ruffled and hair--while sweat licked--windswept like he was attacked by a blow-dryer.

* * *

"He didn't tell us how far away he lives," Tsuna mumbles, leaning his head on the study materials on the table, watching the seconds tick past on his clock.

"Don't worry Tsuna," Yamamoto cracks a smile, "he'll be here soon. Mercier-kun also needs to look for it too, right?"

"Yeah, in his studio apartment," the brunet purses his lips, eyebrows furrowing in thought. 

Maybe he moved because he couldn't handle the grief?

“It's already so hot and you guys are making it even worse--" Tsuna snaps his gaze over his shoulder, gawking at Reborn's costume and set up, "--Why not have a tolerance tournament?"

"What the heck are you doing?!" He shouts at Reborn as the hitman changes into his usual attire. "Are you some kind of demon!?"

"Not me," Reborn answers, fixing his fedora.

"Who else besides you would do such a thing--" the brunet hears his door open and exclaims in surprise.

"Haru!!"

Haru hobbles inside next to Reborn's set up, exhaustion weighing heavy on her shoulders as Tsuna interrogates Reborn. "Why did you let her in now!?"

"The mafia should treat women well," the hitman replies factly. "Treat women you favour well."

"Wha!" Tsuna narrows his eyes, eyebrows knitted together, "She likes Alec! He isn't back yet!"

"It's okay, Reborn-chan," the brunette trudges towards the door, "Haru will go home now."

"Eh?" Tsuna freezes.

"Just..." Haru says hoarsely, stepping out "Haru is not... a demon."

* * *

Knocking on the door to the Sawada residence, Alec holds his knees in an effort to support himself, breathless when the door swings open to the smiling Nana.

"Th-thank you," the blond picks himself up, feeling Wind hold his back as he steps inside.

"Ara, I should thank you for being Tsuna's friend," Nana laughs lightly, watching Alec swap his shoes and haul himself to bottom of the stairs.

"Ah! One moment Mercier-kun!" She disappears and comes back with a plate of sliced watermelon. "Share these with each other and Haru-chan, will you?"

The blond's face lights up, head dipping slightly, "Thank you Sawada-san."

So the extra pairs of shoes were Haru's. Alec drags himself up the stairs as Wind supports his feet.

"--a demon..."

Nose scrunching into a puzzled expression, Alec looks left to find Haru despondently leaving Tsuna's room.

"The only demon here is Kyo," he spits with a sigh, stepping onto the landing and trudges next to her.

"You're here!" Haru exclaims.

"Mercier-kun!" A muffled voice calls out as a flurry of footsteps sound from inside the room. Next Tsuna rushes out to him, pausing when he takes a better look at him.

"Why do you look like that? Your face all red... you didn't need to run!" Tsuna hardens his gaze, lips slightly arching into a small frown.

"Pshhh, we'll see you try not to run when Kyoya is chasing hot after your ass for a fight." Alec waves his hand dismissively, "Said he'll deal with the teacher if she fails us even with the evidence."

"You fought Hibari?!" Tsuna shrieks, dismissing the latter sentence as Gokudera and Yamamoto look out the door hearing the commotion.

"Nah, it's more like I _shoved_ him and ran away," the blond chirps. "But I got the textbook!" He holds it up over his head like a trophy, laughing. "That university-level maths question isn't gonna fuck us over!"

"My dad's a university professor," Haru pipes up, wiping any signs of exhaustion from her face. "I can call him to help."

"Yes!" Alec bursts into a blinding smile, vibrating with excitement and relief when he remembers he's holding a plate of sliced watermelon.

"Where did the watermelon go?" He whips his gaze around him, empty hand dropping by his side.

"You've gotten lax," Reborn steps out behind Tsuna, taking a bite.

Alec inhales deeply, dragging his gaze away from Reborn’s face. "You know I don't like--"

"You _love_ watermelon." Smugness rolls off Reborn's shoulders like waves.

"Well I've gum, so I don't care if you inhale it all," Alec cocks his head with overflowing satisfaction.

"Stressed much?" 

"Oh, shut your mouth, will you?" The blond frowns with a soft gaze, turning to the four watching their conversation. 

"Shall we get it over with?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor Kyoya lmao


	9. nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment any typos & mistakes

" _This is indeed past university level,_ " Haru's father's voice comes out through the phone, making them all pause.

Past university level?

Alec immediately flips through the textbook, the man's next words going over his head as he searches for the question, eyebrows furrowed as Wind curls around his body.

"You made a mistake on the foxtail formula--" he hears Reborn say, "--so the answer is 4."

Nose scrunching in an expression of puzzlement, Alec shifts his gaze to him, staring oddly, "Why the heck is there a question that even a person who teaches maths at university answers incorrectly on a question sheet for 1st year junior high students?"

Haru's father lets out a similar exclaim of bafflement, " _Haru, is this true?_ "

The brunette glances Alec who nods at her.

"Yes, daddy."

"So the teacher did it on purpose then?" Tsuna whispers to himself, distressed. "We would've been failed even if we did get the other questions right?"

Gokudera slams his fist on the table, bristling as Yamamoto looks at his own sheet with a dark expression.

"Sir," Alec says softly. "Thank you for your help. Without you, we would've failed--"

"B-but what if she marks it wrong?" Tsuna pipes up and Reborn holds back a smile, lowering his fedora. "What would we do then? It's not fair at all!"

"Damn it!" The explosives bomb expert's face contorts in fury, desperate to hit something.

"They won't take us seriously too," Alec adds, wondering if they forgot what he said about Kyoya, "after what you told me about Nezu."

" _Haru, do your friends go to the same school?_ "

"No, they go to Namimori Middle," Haru answers as silence becomes tangible in the room.

Alec leans forward, straining his ears anyway.

" _If your friends send a complaint, I will help._ "

"Really? Y-you would do that?" Tsuna blurts in disbelief, looking up at Haru.

" _It's the least I can do after hearing a peer's misconduct._ "

"That's great!" Alec laughs with exhilaration, barely holding himself back from hugging someone and places the open textbook on the table, grinning widely.

"Thank you, Haru's dad," Tsuna says into the receiver, beaming at Haru, then at Gokudera and Yamamoto.

" _Have fun with your friends, Haru._ " Her dad says, voice clearly happy.

"Bye-bye daddy," Haru puts away her phone looking over the boys as they celebrate excitedly.

"What're we doing with all these snacks, though?" Alec notes absently, heart still pounding in his chest.

**There's still some left.**

The blond ignores the elation singing in his veins and snatches the last pack of coconut biscuits. "These are mine."

"You're the only one who eats them anyway." Tsuna rolls his eyes.

"These are the _best_ , oka--" Alec cocks his head, hearing a muffled sound outside the room.

 **It's the lightning child.** says the Wind.

"Lambo?" The blonde calls out, getting up to the doorway to find him right outside.

"Maman asked if you want more watermelon," Lambo asks, peeking inside and makes a face at Gokudera and Tsuna's stares.

"Take that as a no," Alec says as he goes back to sift through the plastic bag to find some grape candy he remembers buying. Ushering the five-year-old outside, he shoots the duo a look before following the Bovino.

"C'mon," Alec hefts him on his shoulder, shutting the door. 

Letting out a grunt when his shoulders slouch, the blonde hauls himself downstairs. "I just want to fall asleep right now," he drags his exhale, blinking a few times in rapid succession. 

He looks at Lambo as the world seems to sway under his feet, lips curling into a smile, "Like it?"

Lambo nods vigorously, his afro rubbing the blonde's jaw, "Lambo-san loves grapes!"

"I'll buy you some more tomorrow," Alec slips into the kitchen as Wind slips past his shirt directly against his torso when he spots Nana in the kitchen.

"I'll be in the garden under the tree," he updates, placing Lambo on the table. "Don't want to disturb the others' fun for a short nap."

"That's alright Mercier-kun, you've helped a lot around the house." Nana beams brightly as cool air billows in from outside. "Tsu-kun's very lucky to be your friend."

"So am I, Sawada-san" Alec mirrors the smile, thumb twitching and turns around to step out the open doors into the sun.

 **Your strategy with the lightning child is starting to show results.** Wind notes as it gently directs him towards the thick tree, comfortably perching him next to it before cocooning Alec in air with controlled temperature.

"Thanks," the blonde murmurs, eyelids drooping shut as heavy fatigue plunges him into sleep.

**\--serve it.**

* * *

"He left his coconut biscuits," Haru looks at the packet on the table, sighing. 

"He usually finishes his nap by this time--" Tsuna murmurs, lifting his head with a contemplative expression as his words grow louder, "--after a long session of dance practice. I only recognised some ballet."

"Ballet?" Gokudera repeats with a scandalised expression.

"No wonder he's so handsome," Haru sighs dreamily.

"It... makes you lighter on your feet," starts Tsuna, pursing his lips, "and more agile. I thought of more things he was helping me understand. Balance, flexibility... endurance and... spatial awareness."

"That makes sense," Yamamoto utters softly, eyes widening slightly with comprehension. "There're also a lot of steps, aren't th--"  
  
"Footwork!" Tsuna exclaims, snapping his gaze to Reborn before crumbling into nervousness. "Footwork, right?"

"You still have a long way to go to fully understand," Reborn replies with an approving gaze, "but well done No-Good Tsuna."

"R-Reborn!" Lambo bursts into the room, ragged breathing hitching when all eyes, except the hitman's, land on him. "Alec, uh, needs you i-in the garden."

Reborn jumps out the window, bouncing down the tree branches to find wind lashing around him. The blond himself is curled into a ball with apologies raw with emotion pouring past his lips.

"Idiot," Reborn mumbles under his breath, _warm-happy-lively_ yellow ready to soothe Alec's eccentric _steady-formless-strong_ silver. Fortunately one of the blond’s comments helped him create an idea of a compromise between him and Lambo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> throw your theories at me in the comments, please 👀


	10. ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically, Alec's second round of puberty + ptsd sucks a lot.

_i'msorryi'msorryi'msosorryididn'tmeantojulien--_

Alec startles awake, eyes snapping open and kicks away the covers pooling around his legs onto the floor with a deep, shaky breath. Something wet and cold falls from his head as his hands snap up to his sweaty neck, blinking and shaking his head when he sits up with a groan.

He's alive. He's _alive. Breathing_. With a neck that's not partially broken. With no gaping hole in his abdomen and _blood boiling, skin melting into welts and hotHOTHOT THE WATER BURNS--_

"--Alec!"

 _IT HURTS SO MUCH JULIEN-_ -

"ALEC!"

_IDON'TWANTTODIEJULIENILOVEYOUJULIENYOU'REMYBROTHERJULIEN--_

**You're alive, you're alright, you're safe Alexandre.**

He's alive, he's alright, he's safe.

He's not dead, he's not not alright, he's not unsafe.

He's Alexandre Mercier.

And Alexandre Mercier is a survivor.

* * *

"Are you sure he's alright now?" Haru says to Reborn in a wispy voice, blinking her wet brown eyes to watch the rise and fall of Alec's chest. "Shouldn't someone stay to watch him just in case?"

"He's an idiot." Reborn states, eyes betraying the emotions absent in his voice as he stands perched on Tsuna's shoulder, overlooking the blond.

"Was Julien... his family?" Tsuna can't move his eyes from Alec as he asks the question. _Was he his brother?_ _Was he who Alec tried so hard to protect?_ went unsaid, kept behind his pursed lips as his pulse raced in his ears and heart thundered away just beneath his ribs.

Did he move to Namimori because Tokyo wouldn't let him grieve properly? Was he hiding it all behind his smile like Yamamoto? Except they didn't seem fake. They seemed... like he was trying and something caught him. Tree roots winding out the earth, hidden under dead leaves, and he didn't stumble. Alec tripped, tangled.

Or was it something more than tree roots? Did they have thorns? Was he stuck? Was he in a forest full of them or a field with few?

"Yes," Reborn answers softly, lowering his fedora to hide his dark expression. "Alec adored him his whole life."

The silence in the room becomes stifling as it grows heavier. Tsuna almost can't breathe.

"How do we--" he croaks, incredibly tense and alert for a reason he doesn't know, "--how do we help Mercier-kun?"

"Be there for him even in moments he believes you shouldn't." The hitman says, his tone hinting to Tsuna he's experienced Alec believing it before.

The brunet doesn't know what to think about it.

"He's the biggest idiot _anyone_ will ever meet," Reborn adds, looking away from Alec to the open window as Wind blows in, cooling the room. "Not in the sense he has no brain. He's an idiot in general and you all already know why."

"He blames himself," Gokudera utters. Yamamoto shares the same fleeting expression Tsuna's never seen on them.

Like they know.

What does that mean?

Alec's drowning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after finishing and posting this chapter, i'm still considering hiding in real life :>


	11. eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, two in one day (evening). found out my online classes start tomorrow (today) 🤡

Alec notes the change in Tsuna's body language whenever he's nearby, like Lambo's. The slight hitch in the pitch of his voice, his shoulders stiffening and muscles tensing until he leaves the room. Or the conversations with Reborn when they think he's asleep.

He hates how awkward the house has become. Even more with how the curiosity he brought out and cultured within the brunet is now directed at him, in those big amber eyes.

Which is why he's curled up in bed in his apartment, staring at the ceiling with his head peeking out from the covers.

"I feel stupid." 

He's an adult, even if he's one stuck in a teen's body.

"They all probably know. Even Lambo. The five-year-old." Alec says out loud. 

Wind threads his hair, silent.

"He should be hanging around with Fire's mother as fellow Lightnings. How'd he know to get Reborn? He's terrified of Sunshine."

**The Sun learnt.**

"What?"

**The Sun learnt when you helped him get along with the Cloud.**

"Of course he did." Alec mumbles, exhaling softly. "And it makes me feel worse."

**Shower?**

"Might as well get a haircut." He pushes himself up, narrowing his eyes sceptically as a sudden thought enters his head.

"They're planning something, aren't they?" He groans, cradling his head. "They're all cheeky shits. I blame you in advance for my embarrassment."

**You don't have to.**

Alec breathes softly, peeling away his hands. "But I _want_ to."

**It's both strange. I both want and not want you to go. I am conflicted as you.**

"I can't help being sad. It's like being with them all over again. You aren't the only softie here," he cracks a smile, blue eyes swimming with unshed tears.  
  
**I hate this confliction.**

"Me too," the blond swallows thickly. "It's one of the things with being sentient. You probably miss the time when you weren't."

**But you would miss me.**

"Shut the fuck up, I'm gonna cry," Alec hisses, blinking the tears clinging to his eyelashes.

Wind blankets him and laughs in his ear.

He really is going to cry, dammit.

* * *

"YOU'RE DOING EXTREMELY WELL!" Ryohei yells, eyes bright as he jogs alongside the gasping blonde. "ONE MORE LAP!"

Bound to cheer him up his ass. He should've known it had Reborn written all over it. Sunshine's always been a conniving prankster.

Staggering, Alec jerks his hand up in the air as a half-hearted response, dragging his legs around the next turn.

At least Reborn's idea wasn't being chased by Kyoya. He did... humiliate him in a way, after all.

It would be fine by the time they return as long as he continues avoiding the skylark. Haru's dad already cleared the question 7 situation and everyone who got all except it right passed.

Why the fuck is the wall in his face?

"He's exhausted."

Of seeing the same wall like fifteen times in a row, yeah.

"What?--" Alec mumbles, looking over a shoulder when something small strikes the back of his neck.

Now, _this_ shit has Reborn written all over it.

* * *

"Whassup?" Reborn stares incredulously at Alec when he blinks awake in Tsuna's room.

"What? Never heard it be--is that lemon drizzle cake?" the blond gasps, bolting upright.

"Oh," he winces, cradling is forehead with a hand. "'s nothing, just low on iron lately."

"You're _still_ low on iron?" Reborn hisses, dangerously taking a step close.

"Want some lemon drizzle cake?" Alec laughs dryly, glancing to find Tsuna smiling by the door.

"I think I prefer you drunk," Reborn mumbles, snatching the blond's attention.

"Does that mean you like me more cuddly and snuggly?" He raises his eyebrow, lips pulling into a grin.

"Stop changing the subject," the hitman narrows his eyes slightly.

"How many attempts?" Alec asks with a smug grin.  
  
"How many attempts of what?" Reborn deflects.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"No, I don't." He insists.

"Love you!!" 

"..." He shifts his sight away, lip curling into a small smile.

"Thanks," Alec beams, enveloping him into a hug. "Thanks for not sending Kyo after me instead."

Reborn holds back the sly smile, eyes glinting.

Meanwhile the blonde grins. He'll get his turn later.

"Did you do your thirty minutes today?" Alec lifts his head to ask Tsuna who freezes.

"Wh-what?"

"No slacking off, No-Good Tsuna," Reborn launches himself towards Tsuna, kicking both of them in the foreheads.

"Thanks," Alec rubs the sore spot vigorously as Tsuna does the same. "The kick is very you."

"I am to please."

"Please, not this bullshit again."

"You love me anyway."

"No lemon drizzle cake for you." Alec lifts his chin slightly, pointedly narrowing his eyes at the hitman.

Reborn meets Alec's gaze, lips slowly arching into a smirk that makes the blond pause.

"Oh, fuck no. You invited Kyo to the next trip, didn't you?"

"What?!" Tsuna shrieks, whipping his gaze to Reborn in alarm. "Hibari-san?!"

"No screeching, No-Good Tsuna. You still have thirty minutes of walking to do."


	12. twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while I survived online class, I’ve started reading up on some writing tips so I’ll be editing a chapter from the beginning every few days.

Things became less awkward in between the sessions and Reborn's shenanigans. Alec relished it while it lasted.

He can't blame the brunet though. He was waiting for it for weeks. It was a good improvement Tsuna asked even when they were trying to sleep.

"How many people have you killed?"

"First--" the blond turns around, raising his gaze to see the moonlight glowing in Tsuna's amber eyes, "--what am I?"

"...Retired assassin," Tsuna answers quietly, looking into Alec's tired blue ones. "And assassins kill."

"What about hitmen like Reborn?"

"Hitmen are hired to kill."

It's silent as Tsuna thinks, shifting his head on his pillow, eyebrows furrowed.

"Kill who?" the blond prompts, holding back a yawn.

"People."

"And?"

"Assassins kill people too."

"But what makes them different? Why are they different words?" he pushes himself up, blinking at Tsuna as a tuft of messy hair falls on his nose.

"They kill different people..." Tsuna's eyes light up in understanding. "Hitmen kill anyone and assassins kill important people."

"So what should your first question be?"

"What kind of important people did you... kill?" The brunet falters at the end, meeting Alec's eyes.

"Those who hurt my family." He replies softly, a conflicting smile creeping up his pursed lips.

"But you're retired now," Tsuna thinks out loud. "So either you've killed them or you can't."

"I killed the wrong people. You could argue I've already achieved revenge but I also haven't because the person is still alive." Alec shifts his gaze away, heart beating heavy in his chest as he holds his voice steady.

"You killed their family because the person killed yours," Tsuna whispers, dread and confusion bleeding from his voice.

"The three in-laws for two and their baby," Alec flexes his fingers, staring at them with a wispy smile and a distant gaze. "Little Xan was two months old. Small and adorable, always smiling and laughing--his face lit up like a lightbulb whenever he was lifted. His father and mother were both eighteen. Yes, they were young... but they were an incredibly _beautiful_ family."

The brunet opens his mouth, looking away with shock and horror twisting his face.

"The mafia Tsuna--" Alec raises his head, eyes hardening and voice sombre, "--is such a hard world to live in. I almost went to leave and kill the fucker who put you up to this."

_And who sealed you, but I already know I can't because it would become harder for you._

"Is this why you're helping me?" Tsuna's voice grows quiet.

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

"No," Alec shakes his head, "Thank you for being _you_. You're different from them and I wouldn't change that for the whole world."

_Because it's my fault for killing them that you're going through this. For killing his sons instead of only him._

Wind curls around Alec's chest, giving its own version of a comforting hug.

* * *

“Lambo!" Alec cups his hands around his mouth as his gaze sweeps past the stores lining the mall.

"Here!" The child yelps, running through a set of doors with grape candy clutched in his hands. "Lambo-san got distracted."

The blonde rolls his eyes, pulling a carton of grape juice from his pocket when he lowers himself into a kneel. "By this?"

Lambo squeals, shoving the sweets into his afro and free hands flying to take the carton. "How did you know Lambo-san wanted this juice?"

"It's the only one you drink." Alec scoops the five-year-old, hefting him on his shoulders. A laugh bubbles out his mouth, light and golden. "Did you protect the shopping list?"

"Yes!" The Bovino pulls in out his afro, holding it in front of Alec's face as the blond inspects it with a serious stare.

"5 gold stars to Lambo," he says as he looks over his shoulder, raising his eyebrow at the shouting from the trio behind him.

"I'm the Tenth's right hand man, not you!"

"Glad I'm with you," Alec comments as Yamamoto laughs and Tsuna fails in trying to get Gokudera to calm down. "Even though it's funny sometimes."

"Does Lambo-san get another gold star?" He asks with a burning gaze, vibrating with anticipation.

"Sure, since you're behaving really well today," Alec nods with certainty.

"Gahaha! Lambo-san is the best!"

Part of him wonders what Xan would be like if they hadn't died.

He would certainly be a wonderful grandson. They were so happy.

* * *

"What? I can't hear you," Alec says to the mumbling brunet, looking up from his book.

"Can you tell me about them?" Tsuna repeats, voice wavering. "What they were like?"

Alec snorts into laughter, shutting his book. "This is what's distracted you all day? I thought it was Bianchi's poison cooking when Reborn shot you today."

"Don't remind me," Tsuna mutters under his breath, shuddering. "I don't know how Gokudera survived years of it."

"Him surviving is questionable," the blond stretches his arms, cracking his back. "But back to the question, what if I don't want to tell you?"

"Huh?" The brunet blinks, puzzled.

"I'm not going to spill everything to the fourteen-year-old Vongola Decimo candidate--" Alec looks at him pointedly, "--who I've only known for five weeks. Remember my first day of school, we cleaned the classroom together?"

"Y-yeah?"

"I said to not let anyone you're uncomfortable with touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable, right?"

Tsuna nods, lips pursed in thought.

"I don't feel comfortable sharing everything with you yet."

"Yet?" The brunet blinks, searching the blond's face.

"You never know," retired assassin shrugs, picking up his book again. "Plus summer vacation's over in two days. It would be awkward leaving you with this information, wouldn't it?"

"Oh," Tsuna's eyes widen in understanding.

"I won't be around much the first week, anyway," he adds. "I'm still avoiding Kyo as I did in the trip. He almost got me."

"But I didn't see him...?"

"Precisely," Alec's eyes gleam brightly, "I misinformed Sunshine. You saw his smile the other day when we hugged, right? Thought he had me. His confusion was fucking _brilliant_!"

Tsuna snorts, shoulders shaking and laugh filing his bedroom. "R-Reborn?"

The blond cracks a smug grin when a force knocks his head forward against the table.

" _Shit_ \--"

"Don't let your guard down, No-Good Tsuna," Reborn cocks his Glock, boring holes in the back of Alec's head.

"I'll sue you for brain damage--"

"Shut up, idiot."

"Don't wanna--oof!"


	13. thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> schools (including colleges & sixth-forms) in my country in the UK have gone online possibly until February so updates are approx. 1 chapter every day per weekday now - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Sometimes I might update extra to make up for the missed day in advance or after like chapter 11 & 12\. just heads up & i encourage you to pester me if its been a day and not sure (gmt +00)!
> 
> tw: racism (mentioned being subject to it). me writing for the realism too y'know. which means voice cracks too haha.
> 
> quick note: Lyse refers to Alec's deceased wife Elysia & bijou refers to his daughter Guinevere/Gwen.
> 
> +
> 
> I guess I’m... not wholly satisfied with this chapter? I might tweak it when I get to editing it.

"You dragged her _brother_ with you?" Alec raises his eyebrow, clamping down the laughter trying to spill past his lips of the image as Wind curls around his wrists. "A-and he wants to see you after school?"

"Yeah," Tsuna nods with a resigned sigh, leaning back against the door to the rooftop.

The blond's eyes sweep down the dreary stairwell, glancing back at the lean brunet. Gokudera had left for a smoke and Yamamoto's teammates wanted him for a short conversation which left them alone since Reborn left to do something.

Damn his guilt.

"What makes you feel bad rejecting his offer?"

"I don't want him to hate me..." Tsuna mumbles, head falling into his hands.

"Why would you even think that?" Alec's nose scrunches up in disbelief. "You know what kind of person Kyoko's brother is. He respects passion."

"Which is why--" he pauses, looking up from his hands to the sandy blond's eyes--"Why're your eyebrows brown?"

Alec's face contorts incredulously. "Are you changing the subject or genuinely only finding out _now_ I dye my hair blond?"

"You're not naturally blond?" Tsuna's jaw slack, head leaning forward slightly.

"I thought everyone knew already," Alec slouches a bit, eyebrows furrowing. 

"Does that mean you're not French?"

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" His eyes narrow in simmering offence, lips curling into a frown as he bolts to his feet, chest constricting. "No wonder I can't even get a shitty job around here." 

"Eh?"

Alec swiftly makes his way down the steps, voice cold as Wind makes it project clearer. "Whine to Gokudera, he'll help you understand."

Goddammit, he does _not_ want to think about it.

Hopefully, he can get to the nurse's office in one piece. She's the only staff who understands.

* * *

"We went job-hunting together. Applied to every suitable part-time job we could find. Fourteen vacancies. " Gokudera says when he asks, sitting down next to him with the smell of cigarettes spilling from his clothes. "He helped me with the research, application, interview practice and everything."

Tsuna quietly listens, head down and lips pursed with shame sitting heavy in his gut.

"His were all perfect compared to mine. Everything. He presented himself as the perfect one. Perfect skills, perfectly geared towards the job and company." 

Gokudera inhales deeply, hand curling into fists. "He was only called back for three interviews. Because of his foreign name."

"What--" Tsuna snaps his head up, eyes wide.

"But they're racist fuckwits." Gokudera spits, rage raw in his voice. "Disgusting bastards. If it weren't for him I would've attacked them right then and there. They insulted him every moment until he spoke with polished, unaccented Japanese. Even after he left."

"D-did they say anything about his hair?" Tsuna whispers, voice wavering.

"Called him fake," Gokudera hisses, molten emerald eyes burning. "A lying delinquent who knows nothing but fighting. And it was the only time I've seen him furious."

"Furious?" Tsuna blinks. The only he's ever seen Alec closest to anger was disappointment. And that was when he walked away after his insensitive question.

"I asked Reborn-san after." Gokudera turns to look at Tsuna, disgust overflowing from his eyes. "And he went through it in Tokyo too. The whole time."

He can't even think of himself as Alec's friend.

* * *

"What happened?" The nurse swivels on her chair to his direction when he flops onto the nearest bed, kicking his shoes off.

"Moodswing. Feel like a whiny bitch." Alec mumbles into the pillow with his clogged throat, bending his knees as he hugs himself with his heart hammering painfully in his chest. "Don't like it, trying not to cry."

He hears the plastic wheels roll against the hardwood floor, and turns his head to see her bob of dark brown, almost black, hair in his peripheral vision when she nods with a soft sound.

"Do you want to stay until school ends?" She asks thoughtfully, making Alec's cheek burn in shame when he nods.

"Yes please."

"Water?" She meets his gaze, brown eyes softening at his small voice.

"I have my own," Alec declines, shuffling onto his back to look at the ceiling, "but thanks Akiyama-sensei. I would've skipped if I couldn't come here."

"You'll have to thank whoever hit you in the stomach," she moves back to her desk, smiling.

"She assaulted me with the hockey stick, okay," the blond grumbles, lifting his head to watch her for a reaction when he only sees the back of her head. "Scared the daylights out of me. I bet she can knock Mochida-senpai with a punch after how she struck the thing while wearing heavy armour."

"She?" Akiyama-sensei turns around, lifting her eyebrow.

"Y'know how my nephew has a hitman obsession. He was hanging around with Tsuna and thought he was tainting him, so she wanted to take him away--" Alec rolls onto his side, arm reaching for his bag, "--but I found him, getting in the way of her punch while they were arguing. Then I left saying she should come back with an apology after Reborn said he'd train Tsuna."

"Then why did she attack you?"

"Said if Reborn was telling the truth Tsuna should be strong. But Reborn was standing on my shoulder when he said that."

"So _you_ got hit," she nods thoughtfully. "How did it go?"

"Tsuna was right behind her when I ran so I threw the problem onto him." Alec grins mischievously when it falls into a tight-lipped smile with a dark gaze. 

"You got into a fight?" the nurse asks in a gentle voice, lips pursing.

"...No," he murmurs, "he asked if me dying my hair means I'm not French so I left. He reminded me of Tokyo and the other teachers in this school."

"You're not whining, and it's okay to cry." Akiyama-sensei coaxes, getting up from her chair onto her feet. "What class do you have next? I'll find your next teacher."

"...Science with the new teacher," Alec answers quietly as she walks out the room, shutting the door and flipping the sign on her way out.

Wind presses against his cheeks when he finally lets out a shuddering, choked sob that was lodged in his throat the whole time. 

"This bullshit just makes me miss Lyse and _bijou_."

* * *

The only other time he wakes up from his sleep besides Akiyama-sensei returning is the door being thrown open with a deafening shout, making Alec bolt up from the bed and disoriented with a pounding headache.

"I APOLOGIZE WITH MY DYING-WILL!" Tsuna bellows with an amber flame lit on his forehead like a crown.

Alec flinches, covering his ears and shutting his eyes with a stifled breath when Wind cocoons him with a thrumming hum.

Fortunately, the flame fizzles into nothing, making Alec crack his eyes open when Wind pulls his hands away to hear a hitched gasp.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't--" Tsuna stammers, fumbling back with guilt flooding his eyes.

"It's alright," Alec croaks, lifting his gaze with a small smile. "I over-reacted."

"B-But I was insensitive a-and--"

"What matters is that you know now," his smile bleeds pain, making Tsuna stammer again when he feels a hand clasp his shoulder, shrieking as he turns around.

"Mercier-kun has low iron," says Akiyama-sensei with a stern expression, making gratitude bubble up in Alec's chest. "He's taken his supplements but needs sleep. Lunch is about to end in a minute, you can visit him after school."

Tsuna reluctantly leaves, swallowing thicky while looking back.

"I feel worse than shit," the blond mumbles, blinking away the tears clinging to his lashes.

"Water?"

"You're too nice for this school, Akiyama-sensei."

"Is that a yes?" she steps next to the bed he's laying on, lifting an eyebrow.

"I mean it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment - thoughts & theories especially! have a good day, lads! x


	14. fourteen

"Puberty?" Tsuna echoes in incomprehension, lifting his head to Reborn who stands next to him on his desk, the midday sun shining through the leaves and branches outside his window. "W-why are we talking a-about that? How is that related to Mercier-kun?" he stammers, cheeks reddening.

"Stop stuttering No-Good Tsuna," Reborn cocks his Glock. "His behaviour has everything to do with it. Normally, he would explain instead of snapping at you."

"Wait--" Tsuna's jaw slacks, "that was him snapping? He was more stern and angry on the hiking trip."

Reborn lowers his Glock, adjusting his fedora. "That's when he's irritated."

"W-what? But--no? That--that's confusing," the brunet blinks, hands pausing in mid-air and eyebrows furrowing.

"Describe Alec with one word," Reborn says solemnly, eyes piercing as he inspects Tsuna's expression.

"One word? Uh," his gaze flicks around his hands, licking his dry lips. "Just one word?"

 _Wind,_ Reborn would answer if he was the one being questioned; because he was one of the people who knew.

Tsuna swallows thickly, gaze shifting away from Reborn's face.

"There's nothing I think of," the brunet admits. "He's confusing in a way that isn't. He's not an... enigma but... it's like he's... Most of him is grey, some white and black but it... changes?"

"How does that change manifest?" the hitman speaks, imitating Alec's style from memories when they were directed at either himself or his fellow Arcobaleno. "Use what he's taught you."

Tsuna purses his lips, rubbing his index finger with his other thumb.

_"Think about everything, use everything, and analyse it." his lilting voice echoes in his head._

"--rty an-- --tions," he mutters under his breath, jaw tensing and meets Reborn's beady black eyes. "He's going through mood swings? Isn't it worse with his grief? Why does he keep saying he was overreacting?"

Why didn't he realise sooner? He was so stupid.

"I told you--" Reborn's lip twitch into a faint smile, "--he's an idiot. The biggest idiot _anyone_ will ever meet."

Tsuna thunks his head against his desk, sighing. "It's like he's a mix of everything."

* * *

_"Why did you choose Ghost?" Colonello asks, drawing all eyes towards the scruffy blond, his blue eyes gleaming under the dim light of the secluded alley, rain clinging his matted hair to his cheeks._

_Reborn watches the man's jaw tense, lips parting and closing in hesitation._

_"I never thought much about it actually." He swings his legs on the desk, leaning back on his creaking chair. Blood still clings to his soles, a small dot staining Alec's white socks and a splatter on his black jacket over his right shoulder. "Because everything I am is because of him. I'm his echo. His ghost walking in life after his. Now that I think about it, it's quite fitting, wouldn't you say?"_

_"You said you were your own person," Lal asks, studying his distant expression._

_"I choose who I want to be when I want to be. In between, I'm a ghost."_

_"Wind," Mammon mutters under their breath, their frog Fantasma bulging their throat on their head. "You were Wind in your past life. It's ghost in the present. This is why your flame is the only one of it's kind."_

_"...Yeah," Alec shifts his gaze away from the Mist Arcobaleno to the clouded window. "Lyse said the same thing when she became my Sky."_

_"How old were you then?" Skull asks, "When she became your Sky?"_

_"I don't remember exactly," Alec exhales softly, looking at the civilian stuntman. "I think I was going through puberty again."_

_"What was that like?" he follows with another question, "y'know, because you said you'll help us."_

_"It like Reborn._ Chaos _."_

_"Heh," Skull snorts, "Did you hear that?--"_

_"Shut up, lackey," Reborn kicks Skull's helmet, sending him flying towards the wall._

_"Play nice," Alec reprimands, curling his thumb and a gust of wind carries the Cloud Arcobaleno back onto the table. "At least while I'm here."_

_Reborn shifts his gaze to Skull, eyes gleaming._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment 👁️


	15. fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suuuuper late my only excuses are having a cold with a shitty immune system fucked up my online learning and now I have a lot to catch up on 🤡
> 
> so updates are 1x per wk on Friday's and 5 additional chapters to make up for the one's i missed

"Did anything interesting happen?--" Alec yawns, securing his flip phone in between his shoulder and ear as he pours steamed milk foam into his espresso, "--You don't wake up this early." 

The soft light from the swollen sun filters through the large double glazed window brightens the beautiful kitchen oak countertops--he still remembers Lyse sighing in admiration of her older sister's who married to a wealthier man--and Wind carries the twittering of birds through the small gap to his ears, lifting his heart like the orange-pink bleeding into the reddish-orange sky. 

_"Are you sure you don't want to be paid for helping me tutor Tsuna? Don't tell me you don't need the money, you only keep enough for the bare necessities for every identity."_

"My answer is still a no," the blond tucks a lock of slightly wet hair behind his ear, carefully carrying his baguette--Guinevere's recipe--and coffee to his low table. "I am not being paid to fulfil what I owe."

 _"This isn't about what you owe him!"_ Reborn hisses, _"When you said you could cover the extra expenses of the trip I didn't think you'd cut into your budget!"_

Alec purses his lips, setting himself down on a cushion over the portion of rug covering the hardwood floor.

_"Send your current details, I'll pay. I'll forward the cost to Vongola, don't worry about Nono tracing you."_

"...Alright." Alec reluctantly relents, spreading strawberry jam onto his cut baguette. "I'll... message you the details in our code soon."

 _"The Arcobaleno one or the general one?_ "

"Arcobaleno," he answers after a moment's pause. "There's something else you wanted to talk about, right?"

 _"It'll be chaos soon,"_ Reborn's flip into a cheeky voice pulls Alec's lips into a smile as he shakes his head.

"I expect nothing less than the usual disaster-level chaos from you, Sunshine." He lets out a small laugh, eyes crinkling with his wide smile. "I worry for Tsuna sometimes, you'd have killed him with a stroke by now if I weren't here."

 _"Is that a challenge?"_

Alec can imagine the Sun Arcobaleno's eyes gleaming and a smirk playing on his lips. He huffs out another laugh, drifting into a short pause when he furrows his eyebrows in thought before he sighs, mulling over his words.

"...I do think he forgets you're the World's Best Hitman and I'm a retired assassin," he confesses, holding the phone next to his ear, "I thought he'd be more careful after what I've taught and told him. He's either very trusting, trusting and careless or very careless. I haven't re-tested the extent of his thinking but he has improved. I just don't know how much _exactly_. I know he believes I came here to get away from Tokyo, and I did. It's what he now thinks after knowing I've killed three people recently."

_"You want me to help him realise the gravity of the situation?"_

"Yeah." Alec exhales softly, "I've talked to Kyo about assassins coming here. He and the disiplinary commitee can deal with the bodies in the scenario they actually get killed."

 _"You aren't participating?"_ Reborn asks curiously.

A smile curves the blond's lips, teeth peeking behind his lips. "Are you referring to Alexander Mercier or Ghost?"

 _"Reassuring,"_ the hitman mumbles, _"I wouldn't even know unless you tell me like you did with Nono's sons. Maybe the next one dies after choking on his saliva. You only did that twice."_

"Hey," Alec frowns, "I take my jobs very seriously. You know that."

_"Mhmm."_

"Oh, c'mon!" he complains, "You're not getting any ideas from me. I've become immune to your little trick."

 _"A pity."_ Reborn sighs, "Enjoy your cold baguette and lukewarm."

"You little shi--" Alec hisses into the phone, pulling it from his ear to hold in front of his face, "--t!" 

He shoves it into his pocket with a loud groan, staring at his breakfast with lament.

* * *

"When did you get so many fake tattoos?" Alec narrows his eyes sceptically at the weeping brunet, standing in the doorway of the Sawada household with Kyoko behind him.

"Eek!" Tsuna yelps, whipping his head up. “Why are you here?!"

"You're cute," Dr. Shamal coos to Kyoko and Wind shuts him up, clamping his mouth shut as he yanks at his jaw with muffled shouts.

"Why the fuck are you hiding _here_?" Alec hisses, hand snapping out to jerk the assassin behind him outside the house. "Hide somewhere else!"

The man tries to answer but Wind doesn't stop and the blond swiftly darts to Reborn's side, eyes glancing around the marks on the brunet's body.

"D-Don't look!" 

Reborn kicks Tsuna's head, landing in front him with a solemn stare. "Alec is the only one who can help you now."

"Isn't this that crappy Skull disease I warned you about?" The blond shifts his gaze to the hitman with a raised eyebrow.

"You IGNORED HIM?!" Tsuna shrieks as Kyoko stares at him with confusion furrowing her brows.

Reborn meeting Alec's gaze.

The blond's expression shifts into something solemn and hauls Tsuna to the nearest room.

"You've got four minutes. Note what you feel," he says as _steady-formless-strong_ silver warms under his skin, shimmering slightly as it seeps through his hands when he clasps them over Tsuna's bare shoulders, marred with Skulls pouring out his embarrassing secrets.

"W-what?" Tsuna stammers, blinking up at Alec to find his eyes burning silver and sapphire. "Y-your e-eyes!"

"Ignore my eyes and feel your flames, Tsuna." The blond furrows his brows, silver flooding a familiar disgusting orange.

Tsuna feels something _cool_ tingle inside him, pricking at something inside his head. Before he thinks it'll get painful, he _feels_.

His warmth, his fire--what's that other dim and darker fire around it?--why can't he feel his fire?

"Just another moment," Alec's lilting voice pulls him out of his panic and fear.

Tsuna reaches for the silver when it starts to pull away, pausing at the harmonious and warm orange spilling past the other orange. 

"Be careful with them," the blond meets the brunet's gaze intently, seeing his amber eyes glow brightly and a small smile works his way up to his lips. "You've beautiful and pure Sky flames but they'll fully break out when mine disappear. Reborn will teach you how to deal with them by the time they do so you can hide them easily."

"What?" Tsuna echoes, mind stuck on the _steady-formless-strong_ glimering next to his warm orange.

Alec huffs as he removes his hands, "What other colours do you see? I know there's more besides my own."

"U-uh," the brunet registers the question a moment later, "Blue, orange and green. The red has some blue, orange, green and... indigo? There's also stronger indigo and another green with purple."

 _Yamamoto, Ryohei, Lambo, Gokudera--its surprising how many he has--Kyoko and Haru._ Alec lists to himself, smiling as he steadies his breathing, hiding his shaking hand in his pocket.

 _Hopefully we can protect_ them.

"Put your shirt back on, I need to talk to Reborn."

"R-right!" Tsuna fumbles out with flushed cheeks.

"Do you need the day off?" Reborn walks in, shutting the door and lifts his gaze to see Alec's eyes like wells of molten sapphire. "I asked a lot of you."

"Yeah," the blond lets out the briefest exhale, pulling out his shaking hands in front of his face to look at and for Reborn to see. "But I'll just go to the nurse's office. I'll be better by lunch."

"...Alright," Reborn says and lowers his fedora. 

Alec sits in front of Reborn, lifting him onto his lap. "Aren't you curious?"

"I can ask you later, you need to rest," Reborn replies, lifting his head.

"My favourite nephew," Alec laughs, perching the hitman onto his shoulder and hurries to catch up to Tsuna and Kyoko.

Reborn cracks a smile at the comment as Leon flicks his tongue.

"Don't pretend you don't feel smug about it," Alec adds, spotting Tsuna's head of brown spiky hair disappear behind the corner ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment! especially typos and mistakes because i always seem to miss them lol


	16. sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/5 of owed chapters
> 
> special thanks to mochi213 for your comments and appreciation! helped me get this out even though I'm still ill 💞

"Reborn! You little shit!" Alec bursts through the door to the reception room, chest billowing for every breath he takes as he shifts his gaze away from Tsuna-- _why is he holding a slipper?_ \--Gokudera, and Yamamoto to Kyoya.

"Long time no see," he chirps with a little wave when Kyoya lunges towards him.

In the corner of his sight, as he steps back behind the doorframe, he spots Reborn holding out a bomb and swiftly yanks it shut.

Alec sinks onto the floor, tucking his feet and covering his ears when a fierce blast shakes his bones.

"Ugh, I feel sick again," he groans, clamping his jaw between his knees..

 **You just finished eating.** Wind points out, **I told you not to go.**

"Yeah, well--" the blond pulls away his hands to wrap them around his knees and swallows down the acidic fluid climbing up his throat, "--you know me."

* * *

"Headache again?" Akiyama-sensei asks, looking up from her sheets with a pen in her hand.

"Nauseous," Alec mumbles, making his way to the nearest unoccupied bed closest to the nearest window. "Almost vomited and the headache is killing me. I've drunk some cold water but the classroom's gonna stink and get stuffy since it's lunchtime."

"Ate something bad?" she furrows her brows in worry, lips pulling into a frown as she scribbles on paper.

"No," the blond hauls himself on, pushing the window open. The fresh air pushes his hair back slightly, clearing the haze in his head as he sits on the bed. "I finished eating when I heard Tsuna, Gokudera and Yamamoto got into trouble with Kyoya. Ran to the reception room, there was an explosion. I shut the door but I feel sick."

"An explosion?" A disbelieving voice echoes, shifting Alec's attention to the person he saw on a bed on the other side: Kurokawa Hana.

"Yeah," the blond looks out the window, eyes fixed on the smoke puffing into the blue sky. "You see the smoke there? From the reception room's windows?" He stands up, pressing the tip of his pointed finger against the window. "It's from the explosion."

The girl cranes her neck from where she is, her arms wrapped around her abdomen, and her eyebrow raises at the sight.

"Why would there be an explosion?" Akiyama-sensei mutters. Alec looks at her to find she's looking from a different window and shrugs. "As if I know. I feel sorry for the classrooms nearby."

"Isn't the one to the left ours?" Hana turns to him, staring at the taller male.

"Why else do you think I'm here?" Alec lifts his chin, lips curving into a calculating smile.

Hana looks away from him in disgust. "Monkeys," she mumbles under breath.

"I'll be back soon," the nurse says, leaving the room.

"Is your stomach ache really painful?" Alec asks Hana, taking his water bottle out his bag to keep nearby.

"...Yeah." She answers, eyes darting to her bag.

The blond pauses rigidly.

Fuck. She's on her period. They don't know he's a widow who raised a daughter alone.

"I hope it gets better soon. My sister says apple juice helps a lot."

There. Now, why the fuck is Wind so silent?

**Your panic is amusing.**

Amusing your head.


	17. seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I've been trying to post this for like 10 minutes today believing it was 29 February just kill me already

Alec shoots Tsuna a grumpy stare, hugging his bag before explaining his understanding of the Athletic Fest for confirmation: "The school's divided into A, B, and C. Then they sort themselves into teams and even then the competition's still tough."

Yamamoto nods as Gokudera listens quietly.

"Us boys compete in the pole knocking event where the leader of each team climbs to the top of each pole and the winner's decided when the leader of the opposing team is knocked down," Alec continues. "Absolutely insane if you ask me. Don't think any of the schools in Tokyo went that far."

"What was it, your old school, like?" Yamamoto inquires.

Alec snorts, "Which one? I transferred four times."

"Why?" Asks Tsuna, concern softening his amber eyes.

"Didn't like them," the blond mumbles, still loud enough for them to hear. "And I was half fluent by the time I caught up with Maths let alone the other subjects. I mean you see some Asians in France when you get closer to Paris but I stuck out like a peacock next to pigeons."

"Is that why stopped dying your hair now?" Gokudera shuffles closer to Alec a bit, his own way of comforting him.

"Yeah," Alec sighs, eyes shifting to the lock of hair Wind pushes over his eyes. The blond dye looks like highlights after he stopped quite long ago. "Saves money too."

There's a pause when he purses his lips, hesitating before swallowing it down. Instead, he plops his head on Gokudera's lap while the dynamite expert reluctantly relents a with a scowl.

"Do you think Sasagawa-senpai will resign to hold the pole up himself?"Murmurs Alec, lifting his head. "I know we just assist the second and thirds who have more strength but it's totally something he would do."

Tsuna groans in agreement, slouching.

"It's just..."

Their attention shifts back to Alec who beams. "He'd nominate you, Tsuna, wouldn't he?"

The brunet shrieks, "No! Absolutely not!"

"Let's hope so," he laughs with Yamamoto as Gokudera puffs his chest at the thought, "since these things always seem to happen to you."

"Don't jinx me!"

Alec burst into explosive laughter when he notices Tsuna's face flush red. "But it would be hilarious if it were you!"

"Shh! Stop talking about it!"

"Aw, c'mon, Tsuna," Yamamoto laughs again, eyes bright and lips curved into a big smile. "It'll be like our trips!"

"No!"

* * *

"Pfft—" Alec clutches his side, tears clinging to his eyes as he laughs hysterically at Tsuna's distress through the phone. "This is so fucking funny!"

_"No it's not!"_

"Yes, it totally _is_!—" He responds before spluttering on his saliva, "—kegkh, oh shit, ekh—"

" _Mercier-kun_?"

Once he recovers himself, Alec bursts into his obnoxious uncontrollable laugher again, wheezing. "You on a _pole_! Haha! Sunshine's gonna—ohmygod—love every second of it!"

_"Don't say that! Whyyyy? Why did you jinx meeee? I'm hanging up if you keep laughing!"_

Slapping his hand over his mouth, Alec clamps his jaw shut, blinking the tears in his eyes and inhales deeply through his nose in a desperate attempt.

"G-good now?"

 _"Yeah,"_ Tsuna sighs, and Alec hears some shuffling on the other side. _"Just what am I supposed to do? I can't climb a pole._ "

"Hey," the retired assassin says softly. "There're lots of things you think you can't do. You can swim now, can't you?"

 _"But that was after you guys_ —"

"Yeah," Alec interrupts, tone hardening with conviction. "So quit overthinking. Just do your best because we've got your back, okay?"

There's some silence until Tsuna speaks again, voice quiet, _"Thanks."_

"We're your friends, you dork," Alec scoffs. "Plus it doesn't matter who wins. It's just an event."

 _"Gokudera would probably carry me up if he could,_ " Tsuna jokes.

"Definitely."

* * *

"This is more luxurious than your usual picks," Reborn comments when Alec returns to his bed from the toilet, spotting the Sun Arcobaleno stood in front of the incomplete group portrait.

"Yeah," he answers softly, stopping next to Reborn and gazes at the five blank faces. "She always wanted oak worktops."

"You can't remember their faces anymore," states Reborn, shifting his solemn stare to the wry smile playing on Alec's lips.

"Yeah," he shrugs. "I barely remember Julien's let alone theirs. I forget about them most of the time, to be honest."

"How old were you—Aleron—" Reborn swiftly corrects himself, "—How old was Aleron when they died?"

Alec stares harder at their faces, shifting his gaze to Reborn, his eyes covered by his lowered fedora as Leon curls on the brim.

"I think he was around Lambo's age. But I think his hands were smaller. I can't quite remember."

"Do you think you'll finish it?"

Alec looks back at the group portrait, seeing smiles and glimmering eyes in his mind. He doesn't know who they belong to anymore. Niko's or Dan's. Sel's or Syl's, maybe Shu's.

"I don't know."

He thinks he can cling onto Julien's for a few years at most. It was weird they remembered Aleron and Julien as kids but they grew older than them.

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know either."

He really doesn't know, even when he spends the whole night trying to fill in their faces.


	18. Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short & late update. Got another cold (I know it **sucks** ) and I'm sleeping through it.

"Ugh, what am I doing?" Alec mumbles into his pillow, Wind splaying his hair across his face as he pulls the cover up to his chin.

**Feeling sick again?**

"That too, but--" he considers his next words, sapphire eyes darkening. "--am I too invested for someone who's probably gonna die in like, ten years? I mean, I'm just protecting them from the mafia while they get strong enough to get away from the mafia." Alec blinks harshly, tears forming in the corner of his eyes and chest constricting slightly. "Then there's their family, their classmates, Tomaso, the staff, just... they're fucking _fourteen_. Fourteen years old. They shouldn't be... they shouldn't be worrying about the mafia, assassins and bloodshed. They should be... they should be worrying about fourteen-year old shit, like, like-- _Gods_ \--like crushes, games, friends, procrastination or studying, playing. Not... not _this_ shit."

_That's why you're trying. Because you care._

Alec swallows thickly, inhaling sharply though his nose, breath stuttering as tears cling to his lashes.

"Fucking hell. Why didn't I just kill that expired tomato? Everyone besides him and Iemitsu's famiglia don't even know Iemitsu's fucking married let alone has a son. I've ruined everything like the shitty old man I am."

 **No** , Wind coils around Alec, carding through his hair as he chokes on his tears. **No, never. Never say that again. You've ruined nothing.**

"B-but--"

 **It's their fault.** Wind wipes the tears rolling down his cheekbones and over the bridge of his nose. **You have survived many wars, many deaths and much pain. As Aleron and Alexandre, as a soldier.**

"Still!--"

 **When you love with a love that is the most fiercest and deepest love this world as has ever seen, it is not your fault that when they burn your beloveds, they burn too. For you have already had your beloveds burned by war and death**.

"This is like the most you've ever spoken at once," Alec hiccups, sniffing. "You really know how to make me cry."

**I love you.**

"I love you too, dammit," he rubs his eyes. "Where else am I supposed to get a wonderful partner like you?"

**From you.**

"I know you came from me, don't spoil the moment!" Alec mumbles, shifting in his bed. "What time is it? Isn't the Athletic fest tomorrow?"

**Three AM.**

"Shit, you talk too much."

Wind swats Alec's cheek.

"I'm joking, I'm joking!" He cries out, "You can never talk too much!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda think this chapter is kinda cringe but idk it might be my fever.
> 
> Realised I have 58 (FIFTY EIGHT!!) kudos, like, YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING GREAT 💞


End file.
